A comical genius was thinking one day
How he'd take up a job and receive handy pay
He didn't like beggin' and work was to hard
So he got a bright notion to join up the "Guards"

Diddlee I dum diddlee I dum diddlee I dum dum day

Well he went up to Dublin to the depot went in
Got a new suit of blue as bright as new pins
They drilled him they drilled him they drilled him so hard
The ould sergeant proclaimed him a fully fledge guard

Diddlee I dum diddlee I dum diddlee I dum dum day

He was stationed some where near the town of Athy
Rounds the roads of that district he kept a close eye
Now the girls they admired him as all brazers do
Fall in love with the guard and his new suit of blue

Diddlee I dum diddlee I dum diddlee I dum dum day

Well they'd laugh and they'd wink and they'd nod as he'd pass
Oh but this civee guard has his eye on one lass
But this little colleen she being a die hard
Soon made it quite clear that she wanted no guard

Diddlee I dum diddlee I dum diddlee I dum dum day

One time while on duty on a dark winter's night
He caught her out cycling without any light
Where's your light miss, said he, for an answer sez she
It's next to me liver, where you'll never be

Diddlee I dum diddlee I dum diddlee I dum dum day