When Eve was in the garden, Adam climbed an apple tree
He went aloft up to the top, to see what he could see
He gazed in awe of what he saw, it made the poor man grieve
Ah, Patrick John Maloney stood there, whispering to Eve

"Ah kiss me love, and miss me love
And cry your bitter tears
My loving you'll remember now
For many, many years
Be happy love, be satisfied, I left you in the pink
There's many a man may want a bride
Maloney wants a drink"

Salome danced for Paddy, taking off her seven veils
Salome said, "Maloney, that's a trick that never fails"
Malone put Salome's own clothing in a sack
"I'll run along now to the pawn, and bring your bundle back"

"Ah kiss me love, and miss me love
And cry your bitter tears
My loving you'll remember now
For many, many years
Be happy love, be satisfied, I left you in the pink
There's many a man may want a bride
Maloney wants a drink"

From London to Nebraska, and from Glasgow to Hong Kong
From Cardiff to Alaska, from Peking to Saigon
Wherever girls are lonely, I know that in his role
It's there you'll find Maloney, a waiting to console

"Ah kiss me love, and miss me love
And cry your bitter tears
My loving you'll remember now
For many, many years
Be happy love, be satisfied, I left you in the pink
There's many a man may want a bride
Maloney wants a drink"